Prompt:  Anger.  Write about how your anger turns against you, against others.  How can you transform your anger into courage and strength?

 My anger is always there lurking inward, "why can't you find your purpose in life yet" "why can't you find a relationship yet" "why can't you get up to speed in life yet" all these judgements and blame and vitriol at myself and then it spews forth at others. Usually in my head in terms of jealousy and not-so-nice thoughts. My anger makes others greater and me lesser, something my mother taught me to do whenever she felt threatened. And if she wanted to flip the script she would say "oh they don't know how much you've been through" so the anger turned into victim for power. For once I want my anger to give my life and power without special/worthless and momentum to change my life, just my life, not dependent on anyone else. I want it to give me passion, fire and warmth to affect change, to burn away some of the fear, burn through it so I have room for other things. I want it to give me legs to move forward. So in a way yes, I can have compassion that I did/do go through rough times and abuse which have paralyzed me. But that does not make me lesser or better.And it doesn't make me a victim. The how I'm turning it into courage is sitting with myself everyday and staying in with my feelings--or trying to, committing to this process where I was always 40% before and having faith that in all this darkness my anger is a light and can give me strength. To find my true purpose. I am blind right now. But I want to have faith that it's there. The alchemy of anger into a strength. So I can truly be happy for others, without feeling sorry for myself. To truly be there for others without feeling happy at their misery.